Music Jokes

An accordion is a bagpipe with pleats.


Q: What is the definition of an optimist?
A: An accordion player with a pager.


Q: What is the difference between an Uzi and an accordion?

A: The Uzi stops after 20 rounds.


Q: What do accordion players use as a contraceptive?
A: Their personalities.


Q: What's the range of an accordion?
A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!


Q: What's a gentleman?
A: Somebody who knows how to play the accordion, but doesn't.


Q: What's the difference between an onion and an accordion?
A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.


Q: What's the difference between an accordion player and a terrorist?
A: Terrorists have sympathisers.


Q: What's the definition of perfect pitch?
A: When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it touching the sides.


Q: What's the difference between an accordion and a concertina?

A: The accordion takes longer to burn.


Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument?
A: Hide it in an accordion case.


Q: What's an accordion good for?
A: Learning how to fold a map.


Q: What's the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion?
A: A chainsaw can be tuned.


Q: Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses?
A: So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.