Military Jokes

How to be Politically Correct when talking about Men (Or Army Men)




He does not have a beer gut...


He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.(regular guys)


He has a personal war reserve stock.(army guys)




He is not quiet...


He is a Conversational Minimalist.


He is a SAMS grad.




He is not stupid...


He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.


He is a field grade.




He does not get lost all the time...


He discovers Alternative Destinations.


He gets temporarily misoriented.




He is not balding...


He is in Follicle Regression.


He has a REALLY squared away high and tight.




He is not a cradle robber...


He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships.


He is breaking the new fraternization policies.




He does not get falling-down drunk...


He becomes Accidentally Horizontal.


He practices his IMTs in the club.




He is not short...


He is Anatomically Compact.


He suffers from a Napoleon Complex.




He does not have a rich daddy...


He is a Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion.


He has the Army as a hobby.




He does not constantly talk about cars...


He has a Vehicular Addiction.


He must be a Transporter.




He does not have a hot body...


He is Physically Combustible.


He is a PT stud.




He is not unsophisticated...


He is Socially Challenged.


He is a Ranger.




He does not eat like a pig...


He suffers from Reverse Bulimia.


He eats like a Ranger student at Pizza Hut.




He is not a bad dancer...


He is Overly Caucasian.


He is from the Muddy Boots Army.




He does not hog the blankets...


He is Thermally Unappreciative.


He is a Blue Falcon.




He is not a male chauvinist pig...


He has Swine Empathy.


He must be combat arms.




He is not afraid of commitment...


He is Monogamously Challenged.


He loves TDY.