Military Jokes

This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.


Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on November 10, 1995.


Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.


Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.


Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.


Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.


Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.


Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.