Sports Jokes

Top Baseball Player Demands


From Late Show with David Letterman; Friday, August 12, 1994


In case anyone has od'ed on O.J. Simpson coverage or for those who might for some reason not know, the major league baseball player strike began today.]


No team flights on Continental Airlines.


Goodbye boring baseball hats, hello festive sombreros.


Make it legal to cork their pants.


Baseballs with delicious chocolate centers.


No more reports from that old guy up at Woodstock. [In reference to the live reports tonight from Calvert]


Two words: Streisand tickets.


Every team has to have at least one player named "Mookie".


Plenty of dugout Slimfast.


Put an on-deck circle in Madonna's bed.


More games against the Mets.