Marriage Jokes

This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all.


We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx


We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken


What's new? Most of my wife.


When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -- Guitry


When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.


Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house.


Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs.


You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family.