Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: At least a dozen, but it's impossible to tell which one it is, because they're all pointing at each other going "That's me, over there !"




Q: How many Bill Gates' (runs Microsoft) does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. He simply declares darkness to be the new standard.




Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?

A: All of them. Bones to say "Its dead Jim", Uhura to send a distress signal, Sulu to listen to Chekov saying "Light bulbs vere really an old russian invention", Spock to be fascinated by the illogic inherent in the early demise of the light bulb, Scotty to do the work, and Kirk to get the girl.




Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb ?

A: (Bruce Babbitt) It's foolish to talk about screwing in light bulbs when we haven't even taken the first step, and that is to remove the old bulb. I challenge my fellow candidates to stand up with me and help me remove this old light bulb [stands, but nobody else does] Hah! What wimps. You guys make Bush look like Rambo.




Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb ?

A: (Richard Gephart) It doesn't matter whether the bulb is changed or not; it only matters that the new bulb was made in the US of A. Taiwan and South Korea have put up massive barriers to importing US light bulbs; we'll see how they like it when their bulbs cost $10,000 to screw in here.