Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many academics does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. That's what research students are for.




Q: How many academics does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Five: One to write the grant proposal, one to do the mathematical modelling, one to type the research paper, one to submit the paper for publishing, and one to hire a student to do the work.




Q: How many sheep does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to follow him round while he looks for a new one.




Q: Why did the `Real Man' sit in the dark?

A: He couldn't find a new light bulb and was too embrassed to ask.




Q: How many George Smillivitches does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None, becouse tough girls aren't afraid of the dark.




Q: How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it, and one of them can change the bulb while he's at it.




Q: How many French farmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Three. Farmer #1 goes away and gets a new lightbulb. Farmer #2 notices that it has been imported from Britain and promptly sets fire to it, so farmer #1 has to go and get another one, and then farmer #3 changes it.


Note: Topical to French farmers setting fire to imported British sheep.)




Q: How many Ku Klux Klansmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One hundred-one to do it and the others to stand around solemnly and watch the old bulb burn.