Lawyer Jokes

When there are too many policemen, there can be no liberty;


When there are too many soldiers, there can be no peace;


When there are too many lawyers, there can be no justice.”


-- Lin Yutang




“Litigation is a machine which you go into as a pig and come out as a sausage.”


-- Ambrose Bierce



"A country man between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.”


-- Benjamin Franklin




“Lawyers have been known to wrest from reluctant juries triumphant verdicts of acquittal for their clients, even when those clients, as often happens, were clearly and unmistakably innocent.”


-- Oscar Wilde




“In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.”


-- Lenny Bruce




“I was never ruined but twice -- once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I gained one.”


-- Voltaire