School Jokes

Freshman: Is never in bed past noon.

Senior: Is never out of bed before noon.


Freshman: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut.

Senior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend.


Freshman: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.

Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mountain Dew into a recitation class.


Freshman: Calls the professor "Teacher."

Senior: Calls the professor "Bob."


Freshman: Would walk ten miles to get to class.

Senior: Drives to class if it's more than three blocks away.


Freshman: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.

Senior: Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade.


Freshman: Knows a book-full of useless trivia about the university.

Senior: Knows where the next class is. Usually.


Freshman: Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed.

Senior: Shows up at a morning exam in sweats with a cap on and a box of pop tarts in hand.


Freshman: Has to ask where the computer labs are.

Senior: Has own personal workstation.


Freshman: Lines up for an hour to buy his textbooks in the first week.

Senior: Starts to think about buying textbooks in October... maybe.


Freshman: Looks forward to first classes of the year.

Senior: Looks forward to first beer garden of the year.


Freshman: Is proud of his A+ on Calculus I midterm

Senior: Is proud of not quite failing his Complex Analysis midterm


Freshman: Calls his girlfriend back home every other night

Senior: Calls Domino's every other night


Freshman: Is appalled at the class size and callousness of professors

Senior: Is appalled that the campus 'Subway' burned down over the summer


Freshman: Conscientiously completes all homework, including optional questions

Senior: Homework? I knew I forgot to do something last night


Freshman: Goes on grocery-shopping trip with Mom before moving onto campus

Senior: Has a beer with Mom before moving into group house


Freshman: Is excited about the world of possibilities that awaits him, the unlimited vista of educational opportunities, the chance to expand one's horizons and really make a contribution to society

Senior: Is excited about new dryers in laundry room


Freshman: Takes meticulous four-color notes in class

Senior: Occasionally stays awake for all of class