Test Jokes

MCDONELL DOUGLASS

AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES



Important! Important!



Please fill out and mail this card

within tee days of purchase.



Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell

Douglas military aircraft. In order

to protect your new investment, please

take a few moments to fill out the

warranty registration card below.



Answering the survey questions is not

required, but the information will help

us to develop new products that best

meet your needs and desires.



1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt.

_Gen. _Comrade _Classified _Other



First Name ______________

Initial__________________

Last Name________________



Latitude_________________

Longitude________________



Altitude_________________

Password_________________

Code name________________



2. Which model aircraft did you

purchase?



__F-14 Tomcat __F-15 Eagle __F-16 Falcon

__F-119A Stealth __Classified



3. Date of purchase:

Month_____Day_____

Year______________



4. Serial Number______



5. Please check where this

product was purchased:



_Received as Gift/Aid Package

_Catalog Showroom

_Sleazy Arms Broker

_Mail Order

_Discount Store

_Government Surplus

_Hijacked it using one of our spies

_Classified



6. Please check how you became aware

of the McDonnell Douglas product you

have just purchased:



_Heard loud noise, looked up

_Store Display

_Espionage

_Recommended by friend/relative/ally

_Political lobbying by Manufacturer

_Was attacked by one

_Was bombed by one



7. Please check the three (3) factors

which most influenced your decision to

purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:



_Style/Appearance

_Kickback/Bribe

_Recommended by salesperson

_Speed/Maneuverability

_Comfort/Convenience

_McDonnell Douglas Reputation

_Advanced Weapons Systems

_Price/Value

_Back-Room Politics

_Negative experience opposing one

in combat



8. Please check the location(s) where

this product will be used:



_Latin America

_South America

_Aircraft Carrier

_Europe

_Middle East

_Africa

_Asia/Far East

_Misc. Third-World Countries

_Classified



9. Please check the products that you

currently own, or intend to purchase

in the near future:



Product Own Intend to purchase



ICBM

Killer Satellite

Air-to-Air Missiles

Space Shuttle

Nuclear Weapon

Hydrogen/Neutron Bomb

Light Sabre

X-Wing Fighter

Millenium Falcon

Imperial Star Destroyer

Death Star



10. How would you describe yourself or

your organization? Check all that

apply:



_Communist/Socialist

_Terrorist

_Islamic Fundamentalist

_Zionist

_Nazi

_Neutral

_Democratic

_Dictatorship

_Corrupt (Latin American)

_Corrupt (Other)

_Primitive/Tribal



11. How did you pay for your McDonnell

Douglas product?



_Cash

_Suitcases of Cocaine

_Oil Revenues

_Deficit Spending

_Personal Check

_Credit Card

_Ransom Money

_Traveller's Check

_Swiss bank account transactions

_Counterfeit $100 bills



12. Occupation You Your Spouse



Revolutionary

Clerical

Mercenary

Tyrant

Corporate CEO

Dictator

Oil Billionaire

Drug Lord

Defense Minister/General

Retired

Student



13. To help us understand our Customers'

lifestyles, please indicate all the

interests and activities in which you

and your spouse enjoy participating in

on a regular basis:



Activity/Interest You Spouse



Sabotage

Propaganda/Disinformation

Destabilizing/Overthrow

Bankruptcy

Industrial Espionage

Black Market/Smuggling

Interrogation/Torture

Crushing Rebellions

Military Reconnaissance

Border Disputes

Mutually Assured Destruction

Golf



Thanks for taking the time to fill out

this questionnaire. Your answers will

be used in market studies that will

help McDonnell Douglas serve you better

in the future -- as well as allowing

you to receive mailings and special

offers from other companies, governments,

extremist groups, and mysterious

consortia.



Comments or suggestions about our

fighter planes? Please write to:



McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION

Marketing Department

Military Aerospace Division

P.O. Box 800

St. Louis, MO 55500