Old Age Jokes

A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.


She simply replied, "No peer pressure."




The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.




I've sure gotten old. I've had two By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.


But.....Thank God, I still have my Florida driver's license!




When you are young, you want to be the master of your fate and the captain of your soul. When you are older, you will settle for being the master of your weight and the captain of your bowling team.