Ethnic Jokes

Facts about Americans. Did you know that . . .


Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils.


21% of us don't make our bed daily. 5% of us never do.


Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly.


40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.


67.5% of men were tightie whities (briefs).


3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order with singles leading up to


higher denominations.


13% of us admit to occassionally doing our offspring's homework.


91% of us lie regularly.


27% admit to cheating on a test or quiz.


29% admit they've intentionally stolen something from a store.


50% admit they regularly sneak food into movie theaters to avoid the high


prices of snack foods.


90% believe in divine retribution.


10% believe in the 10 Commandments.


82% believe in an afterlife.


45% believe in ghosts.


13% (mostly men) have spent a night in jail.


58.4% have called into work sick when we weren't.


10% of us switch tags in the store to pay less for an item.


Over 50% believe in spanking - but only a child over 2 years old.


35% give to charity at least once a month.


How far would you go for $10 million? 25% would abandon their friends,


family, and church. 7% would murder.


69% eat the cake before the frosting.


When nobody else is around, 47% drink straight from the carton.


85% of us will eat Spam this year.


70% of us drink orange juice daily.


Snickers is the most popular candy.


22% of us skip lunch daily.


9% of us skip breakfast daily.


66% of us eat cereal regularly.


22% of all restaurant meals include french fries.


14% of us eat the watermelon seeds.


Only 13% brush our teeth from side to side.


45% use mouthwash every day.


22% leave the glob of toothpaste in the sink.


The typical shower is 101 degrees F.


Nearly 1/3 of U.S. women color their hair.


9% of women and 8% of men have had cosmetic surgery.


53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on.


58% of women paint their nails regularly.


33% of women lie about their weight.


10% of us claim to have seen a ghost.


57% have had deja vu.


49% believe in ESP.


44% have broken a bone.


Only 30% of us know our cholesterol level.


14% have attended a self-help meeting.


15% regularly go to a shrink.


78% would rather die quickly than live in a retirement home.


30% of us refuse to sit on a public toilet seat.


54.2% of us always wash our hands after using the toilet.


39% of us peek in our host's bathroom cabinet. 17% have been caught by the host.


29% of us ignore RSVP.


71.6% of us eavesdrop.


22% are functionally illiterate.


Less than 10% are trilingual.


37% claim to know how to use all the features on their VCR.


53% prefer ATM machines over tellers.


56% of women do the bills in a marriage.


2 out of 3 of us wouldn't give up their spouse even for a night for a million U.S. dollars.


20% of us have played in a band at one time in our life.


40% of us have had music lessons.


44% reuse tinfoil.


57% save pretty gift paper to reuse.


66% of women and 59% of men have used a mix to cook and taken credit


for doing it from scratch.


53% read their horoscopes regularly.


16% of us have forgotten our own wedding anniversary (mostly men).


59% of us say we're average-looking.


Blacks are more than twice as likely to call themselves beautiful.


90% of us depend on alarm clocks to wake us.


53% of us would take advice from Anne Landers.


51% of adults dress up for a Halloween festivity.


On average, we send 38 Christmas cards every year.


20% of women consider their parents to be their best friends.


2 out of 5 have married their first love.


The biggest cause of matrimonial fighting is money.


Only 4% asked the parents' approval for their bride's hand.


1 in 5 men proposed on his knees.


6% propose over the phone.


71% can drive a stick-shift car.


45% of us consistantly follow the speed limit.


2/3 of us speed up at a yellow light.


1/3 of us don't wear seat belts.


12% of men never use their car blinkers.


44% of men tailgate to speed up the person in front of them.


25% of us drive after we've been drinking.


4 out of 5 sing in the car.