Ethnic Jokes

Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.


Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.


Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.





Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.


Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.


Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves.





Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.


Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.


Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.





Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.


Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.


Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.





Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.


Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels.


Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.





Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and basketball.


Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby.


Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.


Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they play them in.





Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English".


Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English".


Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.


Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate" and a heavy accent to everything they say in an attempt to be cool.





Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.


Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.


Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.


Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.





Americans: Drink weak, bad-tasting beer.


Canadians: Drink strong, bad-tasting beer.


Brits: Drink warm, bad-tasting beer.


Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.





Americans: Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally suspect.


Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.


Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things.


Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.