Enter your E-MAIL address BELOW for JOKES by E-MAIL once a WEEK! |
| Sponsored Links |
 |
| Laugh Links |
|
- Funny Jokes - Funny Cartoons - Random Jokes - Fun Pages - Funny Videos - Funny Forwards - Funny Audio - Fun Downloads - Funny Links > Featured Today - What's new? - Joke of the Day - Funny Pic of Day > Other Options - Link to Us - Submit a Joke |
Years of Resolutions...
While I'm not always the best at keeping them, I'm consistent, and I'm sure this year will be better than ever before. I don't like to brag, but I thought maybe you'd enjoy seeing the progress I've made. Here's to a Happy 2005! -- Alex :-)   RESOLUTION #1: 1999: I will read at least 20 good books a year. 2000: I will read at least 10 books a year. 2001: I will read 5 books a year. 2002: I will finish The Pelican Brief 2003: I will read some articles in the newspaper this year. 2004: I will read at least one article this year. 2005: I will try and finish the comics section this year. RESOLUTION #2: 1999: I will get my weight down below 180. 2000: I will watch my calories until I get below 190. 2001: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200. 2002: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight. 2003: I will work out 5 days a week. 2004: I will work out 3 days a week. 2005: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week. RESOLUTION #3: 1999: I will not spend my money frivolously. 2000: I will pay off my bank loan promptly. 2001: I will pay off my bank loans promptly. 2002: I will begin making a strong effort to be out of debt by 1999. 2003: I will be totally out of debt by 2000. 2004: I will try to pay off the debt interest by 2001. 2005: I will try to be out of the country by 2006. RESOLUTION #4: 2002: I will try to be a better husband to Marge. 2003: I will not leave Marge. 2004: I will try for a reconciliation with Marge. 2005: I will try to be a better husband to Wanda. RESOLUTION #5: 2002: I will stop looking at other women. 2003: I will not get involved with Wanda. 2004: I will not let Wanda pressure me into another marriage. 2005: I will stop looking at other women. RESOLUTION #6: 2002: I will not let my boss push me around. 2003: I will not let my sadistic boss drive me to the point of suicide. 2004: I will stick up for my rights when my boss bullies me. 2005: I will tell Dr. Hodger and the group about my boss. RESOLUTION #7: 2002: I will not get upset when Charlie makes jokes about my baldness. 2003: I will not get annoyed when Charlie kids me about my toupee. 2004: I will not get angry when Charle tells the guys I wear a girdle. 2005: I will not speak to Charlie. RESOLUTION #8: 2002: I will not take a drink before 5:00 p.m. 2003: I will not touch the bottle before noon. 2004: I will not become a "problem drinker". 2005: I will not miss any AA meetings. RESOLUTION #9: 2002: I will see my dentist this year. 2003: I will have my cavities filled this year. 2004: I will have my root canal work done this year. 2005: I will get rid of my denture breath this year. RESOLUTION #10: 2002: I will go to church every Sunday. 2003: I will go to church as often as possible. 2004: I will set aside time each day for prayer and meditation. 2005: I will try to catch the late night sermonette on TV.
|
[ Jokes | Corporate Center | Advertise | Contact Us ]