Three elderly golfers are walking down the fairway.

"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old, "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time nothing happens."

"Ah, that's nothing," said the 70-year-old. "When you're 70, you ...

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- 'Do not turn upside down.'

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- 'Wa...

So an ex-con is walking around the mall with his girlfriend after dinner, when they happen across a Jewelry store. The girlfriend eyes one of the necklaces on display in the window and says, "Wow, I'd sure love to have a necklace like that around my neck!...