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Guitar jokes
Q: How do you make him stop playing? 
A: Put notes on it!
  
Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist? 
A: Pick on someone your own size!
  
Q: What's the definition of a minor second? 
A: Two lead guitarists playing in unison.
  
Q: What do you call two guitarists playing in unison? 
A: Counterpoint.
  
Q: How do you get a guitar player to play softer? 
A: Give him a sheet of music.
  
Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? 
A: Twenty.  One to change the bulb and nineteen to say, "Not bad, but I could've done better".
  
Q: What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig? 
A: Would you like fries with that?
  
Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond? 
A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!
  
Q: What is the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish? 
A: You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.
  
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